Finding Harmony Over Balance

Black women, the idea of balance feels even more elusive because of the “superwoman cape” society expects them to wear.

A heartwarming moment as a child embraces her pregnant mother, filled with anticipation and love in a sunlit room.

When life feels overwhelming, the advice often given is to "find balance." But what if the pursuit of balance isn’t the goal? What if striving for balance actually adds more pressure to your already full plate?

For many Black women, the idea of balance feels even more elusive because of the “superwoman cape” society expects them to wear. This cape, often adorned with strength, resilience, and “handling it all,” is both a badge of honor and a heavy burden.

Instead of balance, consider the idea of harmony. Harmony doesn’t mean everything in your life is equally weighted or perfectly aligned at all times. It means finding a rhythm where the pieces of your life work together, even when they don’t get equal attention.

Here’s how shifting from balance to harmony—and lightening the load of that superwoman cape—can create more peace, purpose and fulfillment in your life.

The Weight of the Superwoman Cape

The “superwoman cape” is a symbol of strength, but for Black women, it often comes with unrealistic expectations. Society assumes you’ll:

• Always be strong, no matter the circumstances.

• Prioritize everyone else’s needs above your own.

• Push through challenges without asking for help.

While resilience is a gift, the expectation to carry it all can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and feelings of invisibility. The cape may feel necessary, but it can also be suffocating.

Why Harmony Works Better

Harmony allows you to step away from the need to “do it all” and embrace a more sustainable way of living. Instead of trying to meet everyone’s expectations, you get to decide what matters most and how to prioritize your energy.

Think of harmony like an orchestra:

• Not every instrument plays at the same volume or tempo all the time.

• Some instruments take the lead while others play softly in the background.

• Together, they create a beautiful symphony.

Harmony is about adjusting the tempo of your life—work, family, health, and rest—depending on what needs your focus most.

How to Find Harmony and Hang Up the Superwoman Cape

1. Acknowledge the Cape

Start by naming the weight you’re carrying. What roles, expectations, or pressures are making you feel stretched too thin?

• Are you saying yes out of obligation or fear of letting others down?

• Are you neglecting your own needs to support everyone else?

Acknowledging the cape is the first step toward loosening its grip.

2. Identify What Matters Most

Harmony starts with clarity. Ask yourself:

• What are my top priorities in this season of life?

• What activities or people bring me the most joy and fulfillment?

Your priorities may shift over time, and that’s okay. The goal is to align your energy with what truly matters to you—not what society expects of you.

3. Let Go of Perfection

Perfection is the superwoman cape’s best friend. Let go of the idea that you have to excel at everything. Some things can wait and some can be done “good enough.” Give yourself permission to rest without guilt.

4. Create Rhythms, Not Routines

Rigid routines can feel restrictive. Instead, think of your days as rhythms—flows of activity that adapt to your needs. For example:

• Set work hours that allow for creative flexibility.

• Schedule “focus blocks” for high-priority tasks and leave room for rest or spontaneity.

5. Ask for Help

The superwoman cape thrives on the belief that you have to handle everything alone. Challenge that narrative. Asking for help is not a weakness—it’s a strength. Build a support network of friends, family or professionals who can lighten your load.

6. Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s essential. Set aside time for activities that nourish you, whether it’s journaling, exercising, meditating or simply resting.

The Benefits of Harmony

When you focus on harmony over balance and loosen the grip of the superwoman cape, you’ll notice:

• Less Stress: You’re no longer chasing perfection or trying to meet unrealistic expectations.

• More Fulfillment: Your energy is spent on what truly matters to you.

• Deeper Relationships: You’re able to show up fully for the people who matter most.

• Greater Resilience: You can adapt to life’s changes without feeling like you’ve “failed.”

Harmony in Action

Imagine a week where work demands more of your time. Instead of feeling guilty about spending less time with family, you embrace the harmony of this season. You communicate with loved ones about your temporary focus and plan meaningful moments together when the workload eases.

Or perhaps your health becomes a priority due to illness or fatigue. Harmony means scaling back other commitments to make room for rest and recovery, knowing this choice supports your long-term well-being.

Your Turn

What would your life look like if you stopped striving for balance, lightened your superwoman cape and embraced harmony instead?

Harmony is about honoring the rhythm of your life and giving yourself grace as you navigate its complexities. By focusing on what matters most and letting go of rigid expectations, you can create a life that feels meaningful, aligned and sustainable—no matter the season.

P.S. Need an extra dose of support on your journey? Tune into the Space for Sistas® Podcast at www.spaceforsistas.com/podcast.